“I want to learn how to hold the paradoxical poles of my identity together, to embrace the profoundly opposite truths that my sense of self is deeply dependent on others dancing with me and that I still have a sense of self when no one wants to dance.”
― Parker J. Palmer
Ah, this is a big one for me. I think as an adoptee I have always longed for connection with others to sort of fill a void, a feeling of aloneness in this big world.
I think the past few years have been a process for me of learning to dance alone, loneliness transformed into solitude. That place where you are alone with your thoughts, your emotions, where you’re not running from them but simply ‘dancing’ with them. The movement and flow that comes from that place is something that can only truly be understood when we dance alone.
And then learning to embrace others, allowing them in to our dance as well as leading the dance. The giving and receiving of love, acceptance. Both are beautiful and nececarry for our own emotional and spiritual health I think.
So for me, embracing myself in the dance and feeing my own heart and learning what it means to join in the dance with others who I feel safe with. I don’t have to have a dozen partners, only a few.