On Vulnerability…Again

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Vulnerable

This topic keeps drawing me back in over and over again so forgive me if I sound a bit redundant here. First of all let’s define vulnerability according to Webster.

vul·ner·a·ble adjective \ˈvəl-n(ə-)rə-bəl, ˈvəl-nər-bəl\

: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded

So why would we even allow ourselves to be vulnerable in the first place if it means opening ourselves up to possible pain?

I love this quote by Brene Brown

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

I think when we choose to protect ourselves at all costs and close ourselves off to others we keep ourselves locked up in a prison of false security. This spills out into all areas of our lives. We choose unhealthy, superficial even abusive relationships over healthy ones because a healthy relationship must be built on openness, honest communication and trust. So we then have two people that are closed off and basically going through the motions. I have experienced this in various friendships and romantic relationships in my life. It feels dry, empty, superficial.

There is something very fulfilling and genuine about two people willing to walk in this type of authenticity that says”I trust you with my heart” I give you permission to enter into this sacred place. It then becomes mutual and the trust is shared.

Sadly we all carry scars from past battles and the temptation is there to run when a familiar feeling comes up or a trigger from the past. But to stay with it and walk through it, healing comes and bonds strengthened.

Sadly there are few willing to go there. We much prefer our prison cells, there we know exactly what we are going to get.

“What happens when people open their hearts?”…
“They get better.”
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

About Amalia

My name is Amalia, I am a survivor, but I am not simply surviving here. I fully intend on living life to its fullest everyday of my life. My past does not define me, it is simply a part of me and a contribution to who I am becoming. Fully awake, fully alive. Love is my religion. I enjoy meeting new people from all different walks of life. I love engaging in deep, meaningful conversation with others. I believe we each have something to add to anothers life. I love Jesus. And the way he interacted with people, especially the outcasts. I sometimes feel as if I am a very old soul born hundreds of years too late. But am realizing I am right where I am supposed to be, there are no accidents. I cherish those who love and accept me for who I am, intensity and all. Who love me for me, not who they'd like me to be. When I love, I love deeply, when I hurt I hurt deeply, I can feel others pain, an empath, but I would not change a thing. My 'story' has molded me into the person I am today and I like me! I am deeply moved by early morning sunrises and evening sunsets, by flowers, bugs, the changing seasons,barefoot walks in the woods, the wind in my hair and the sunshine on my face. I love capturing these moments with my camera, as well as trying to share the emotions attached on canvas. Music is my drug of choice. It soothes me when i'm feeling down or overwhelmed. I am drawn to other creatives and out of the box thinkers, the misfits, outcasts. I love to laugh and make others laugh. Laughter is amazing medicine. I have ADHD and it shows, I am currently....LOOK A SQUIRREL! I have a very strong sense of justice and nothing angers me more than seeing others taken advantage of or harmed, especially in the name of religion or by those in authority who use their authority to harm or control others. I am childlike, yet intense and will fight for those I love until the bitter end. But i've also learned that I cannot save anyone else and have learned when to let go. Because that too is love.

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