In the Longing


“A day out of season, stopping the monotonous count of summer days. Stopping, too, one’s own summer routine, so that, looking out on the gray skies, one says not only, ‘What time of year is it?’ but, ‘What time of life am I in? Where am I? What am I doing?”
― Anne Morrow Lindbergh, North to the Orient


About three quarters of the way through each season we find ourselves in a state of deep longing. In the throes of winters harsh, howling winds, bone chilling cold, forced stillness and muted hues of blues, greys and browns we find ourselves longing once again for the palette of soft pastels and warm, gentle rains of spring. When all returns to life, the earth bursting forth, new birth.

Spring, our senses awakened! The aroma of hyacinth, spring rain and new green springing forth from the warm earth. Songbirds announcing the arrival of yet another year, a new beginning, new opportunities, a beautiful gift.

The warm summer breeze blows in , life is in full swing. The earth is bursting forth with life. Fireflies illuminate the warm summer sky, a magical display. Barefoot walks in the woods, cool mountain stream a resting place for the weary traveler.

There is nothing mundane here. Sensory overload it seems.

Then autumn winds blow. A bittersweet reminder of whats to come, the blow lessened by the magnificence of golds, reds, yellows and orange. Like paint splashed a large canvas. Wool sweaters, gathered around the fire. Bright blue skies and crisp, cool days spent exploring. A beautiful transition into rest.

And finally, winter! That first snowfall. All is blanketed in white. So still, the world at peace. The silence at times is deafening, yet winter is a welcomed time of quiet contemplation, stillness, a time to reflect and recharge.

Just as each of the seasons bring a deep sense of longing, we too experience that same sense from deep within our spirit.

The longing seems to increase as the days go by, the sameness and seemingly unchanging world around us is a much deeper reflection of a trasformation within.

To find myself at peace, resting in the knowing that there is a new just on the other side of the discomfort and discontent, the knowing that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, there is a deeply relevant purpose in the here and now.

The longing continues and I realize that without the coldness and isolation of winter how will I truly appreciate the warmth and newness, the hope that spring offers? And that hope fulfilled as I am given the summer where all is alive! Thriving. And again back to autumn, the transition, where I am gently brought back to rest and quiet, the rich warmth of color softens the blow.

This is counting it all joy. This is flowing freely and lightly in the unforced rhythm of grace, of life.

So the longing? It will never leave, as it shouldn’t but act as a catalyst propelling us into new seasons of growth and change.

About Amalia

My name is Amalia, I am a survivor, but I am not simply surviving here. I fully intend on living life to its fullest everyday of my life. My past does not define me, it is simply a part of me and a contribution to who I am becoming. Fully awake, fully alive. Love is my religion. I enjoy meeting new people from all different walks of life. I love engaging in deep, meaningful conversation with others. I believe we each have something to add to anothers life. I love Jesus. And the way he interacted with people, especially the outcasts. I sometimes feel as if I am a very old soul born hundreds of years too late. But am realizing I am right where I am supposed to be, there are no accidents. I cherish those who love and accept me for who I am, intensity and all. Who love me for me, not who they'd like me to be. When I love, I love deeply, when I hurt I hurt deeply, I can feel others pain, an empath, but I would not change a thing. My 'story' has molded me into the person I am today and I like me! I am deeply moved by early morning sunrises and evening sunsets, by flowers, bugs, the changing seasons,barefoot walks in the woods, the wind in my hair and the sunshine on my face. I love capturing these moments with my camera, as well as trying to share the emotions attached on canvas. Music is my drug of choice. It soothes me when i'm feeling down or overwhelmed. I am drawn to other creatives and out of the box thinkers, the misfits, outcasts. I love to laugh and make others laugh. Laughter is amazing medicine. I have ADHD and it shows, I am currently....LOOK A SQUIRREL! I have a very strong sense of justice and nothing angers me more than seeing others taken advantage of or harmed, especially in the name of religion or by those in authority who use their authority to harm or control others. I am childlike, yet intense and will fight for those I love until the bitter end. But i've also learned that I cannot save anyone else and have learned when to let go. Because that too is love.

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