My Story Part 7


I found myself having to re-write the final portion of my story. It has been extremely difficult because I have in no way arrived yet, whatever that means. I am a work in process.
The past year has been one of deep heart work for me. I have let go of a lot of old wounds, faced many fears and have made some tough life changing decisions.

I again had a ‘bathroom floor’ moment which started me on a journey I never thought i’d travel….

Everything that I help dear, held close has been stripped away. I’ve let go of organized religion. I cling to the things I know to be true. Jesus died for me, God loves me, I am his daughter, his love.

He has been reconstructing me.

This gospel message presented in such a way that even a child could understand it has been so distorted…Like a child, full of wonder I journey on.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who does and that’s enough for me right now.

I am growing in the understanding of his love for me on a very deep, personal level.

He is my husband

He is my daddy

He is my best friend

He will never let me down…


So I rest in that.

I have been through every ‘movement’ imaginable.. Charismatic, vineyard, prophetic, extreme grace, extreme law…you name it.

Right now I am simply being still and knowing He is God

My children are slowly leaving the nest, one by one, my marriage of 20 years is over. Everything that has been my ‘identity’ is changing.

Who am I? The universal question…

Why am I here?

Everyday He gives me another puzzle piece, but damnit I never liked puzzles much!

Such a mystery is my Jesus, so intriguing, so inviting…

He is my strength in weakness, I am weak but He is strong.

Ministry now consists of living my life. He puts others in my path on a daily basis, seemingly chance meetings that I may have previously missed out on had I not shed religion. This is my reality. Sharing the light, Christ in me with a hurting, broken world.

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.”

I’m sure there will be more added to my story, so really there is no ending yet..Walking it out, enjoying the journey.

About Amalia

My name is Amalia, I am a survivor, but I am not simply surviving here. I fully intend on living life to its fullest everyday of my life. My past does not define me, it is simply a part of me and a contribution to who I am becoming. Fully awake, fully alive. Love is my religion. I enjoy meeting new people from all different walks of life. I love engaging in deep, meaningful conversation with others. I believe we each have something to add to anothers life. I love Jesus. And the way he interacted with people, especially the outcasts. I sometimes feel as if I am a very old soul born hundreds of years too late. But am realizing I am right where I am supposed to be, there are no accidents. I cherish those who love and accept me for who I am, intensity and all. Who love me for me, not who they'd like me to be. When I love, I love deeply, when I hurt I hurt deeply, I can feel others pain, an empath, but I would not change a thing. My 'story' has molded me into the person I am today and I like me! I am deeply moved by early morning sunrises and evening sunsets, by flowers, bugs, the changing seasons,barefoot walks in the woods, the wind in my hair and the sunshine on my face. I love capturing these moments with my camera, as well as trying to share the emotions attached on canvas. Music is my drug of choice. It soothes me when i'm feeling down or overwhelmed. I am drawn to other creatives and out of the box thinkers, the misfits, outcasts. I love to laugh and make others laugh. Laughter is amazing medicine. I have ADHD and it shows, I am currently....LOOK A SQUIRREL! I have a very strong sense of justice and nothing angers me more than seeing others taken advantage of or harmed, especially in the name of religion or by those in authority who use their authority to harm or control others. I am childlike, yet intense and will fight for those I love until the bitter end. But i've also learned that I cannot save anyone else and have learned when to let go. Because that too is love.

One response »

  1. Beautiful.
    The beauty of the mess…of the journey.
    I hear you friend. I hear you on so many levels it isn’t even funny!
    Just be and know you are rooted and grounded in the heart of Papa. Nothing can take you from that. nothing.
    Love you so.

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