I found myself having to re-write the final portion of my story. It has been extremely difficult because I have in no way arrived yet, whatever that means. I am a work in process.
The past year has been one of deep heart work for me. I have let go of a lot of old wounds, faced many fears and have made some tough life changing decisions.
I again had a ‘bathroom floor’ moment which started me on a journey I never thought i’d travel….
Everything that I help dear, held close has been stripped away. I’ve let go of organized religion. I cling to the things I know to be true. Jesus died for me, God loves me, I am his daughter, his love.
He has been reconstructing me.
This gospel message presented in such a way that even a child could understand it has been so distorted…Like a child, full of wonder I journey on.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who does and that’s enough for me right now.
I am growing in the understanding of his love for me on a very deep, personal level.
He is my husband
He is my daddy
He is my best friend
He will never let me down…
So I rest in that.
I have been through every ‘movement’ imaginable.. Charismatic, vineyard, prophetic, extreme grace, extreme law…you name it.
Right now I am simply being still and knowing He is God
My children are slowly leaving the nest, one by one, my marriage of 20 years is over. Everything that has been my ‘identity’ is changing.
Who am I? The universal question…
Why am I here?
Everyday He gives me another puzzle piece, but damnit I never liked puzzles much!
Such a mystery is my Jesus, so intriguing, so inviting…
He is my strength in weakness, I am weak but He is strong.
Ministry now consists of living my life. He puts others in my path on a daily basis, seemingly chance meetings that I may have previously missed out on had I not shed religion. This is my reality. Sharing the light, Christ in me with a hurting, broken world.
“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.”
I’m sure there will be more added to my story, so really there is no ending yet..Walking it out, enjoying the journey.