Letting go


As I was driving up the windy country road on my way home from dropping kids at school today, an image caught my eye. Through the foggy, gray mist we so often find in late fall/winter here in the Blue Ridge mountains, I saw a pop of red, a single red apple hanging on to a leafless, barren apple tree.

My first thought was… That stubborn apple, still perfect in shape and color does not want to let go why won’t it just drop from that lifeless tree to the ground like the rest of them? I actually started feeling a bit angry, as if this apple was mocking me in some way, trying to prove it’s strength to me, revealing my weaknesses. I actually started getting angry.

The questions flooded my mind. God am I like that apple? Afraid to let go? Do I desire to hang on to things that are dead? Do I choose the easy way out and simply fall with the rest of them when the strong winds blow? The rain, the snow. The fact that is was still perfectly intact angered me even more. Not only has this damn apple not fallen, but it’s maintained a perfect appearance through the entire ordeal!

Then papa said…The tree is not dead, only sleeping. This apple is hanging on for life. It is time to move on to greater purpose, but this apple is clinging to what is familiar. The earth below, grass still green the fallen apples being used in delicious pies, apple butter, sauce, turnovers, fulfilling their intended purposes, yet this scared, perfect little apple, refuses to drop into the soft green grass below, trusting that all will be well.

Wow, I am not much different than this little apple. During the spring and summer seasons of my life, times of rapid growth, when all appears well, a life full of blessings, fruitfulness, joy I flourish! Then comes fall! The ‘peak’ of contentment and happiness….Time to move into another season, after the leaves all fall there is a perception of bareness and I am scared to let go and trust the Father that this is a necessary process. Let go of the familiarity and trust that He is bringing me into a new season to be used by him, used by him to feed others.

The tree is not dead! The tree served it’s purpose. Our experiences in life do serve a purpose indeed! Holding on to yesterdays where there is comfort. Those yesterdays we’re relevant. But the todays have their own unique purpose.

I will not allow fear to keep me from His very best for me, and those around me.

Just a little lesson from an apple tree…..

About Amalia

My name is Amalia, I am a survivor, but I am not simply surviving here. I fully intend on living life to its fullest everyday of my life. My past does not define me, it is simply a part of me and a contribution to who I am becoming. Fully awake, fully alive. Love is my religion. I enjoy meeting new people from all different walks of life. I love engaging in deep, meaningful conversation with others. I believe we each have something to add to anothers life. I love Jesus. And the way he interacted with people, especially the outcasts. I sometimes feel as if I am a very old soul born hundreds of years too late. But am realizing I am right where I am supposed to be, there are no accidents. I cherish those who love and accept me for who I am, intensity and all. Who love me for me, not who they'd like me to be. When I love, I love deeply, when I hurt I hurt deeply, I can feel others pain, an empath, but I would not change a thing. My 'story' has molded me into the person I am today and I like me! I am deeply moved by early morning sunrises and evening sunsets, by flowers, bugs, the changing seasons,barefoot walks in the woods, the wind in my hair and the sunshine on my face. I love capturing these moments with my camera, as well as trying to share the emotions attached on canvas. Music is my drug of choice. It soothes me when i'm feeling down or overwhelmed. I am drawn to other creatives and out of the box thinkers, the misfits, outcasts. I love to laugh and make others laugh. Laughter is amazing medicine. I have ADHD and it shows, I am currently....LOOK A SQUIRREL! I have a very strong sense of justice and nothing angers me more than seeing others taken advantage of or harmed, especially in the name of religion or by those in authority who use their authority to harm or control others. I am childlike, yet intense and will fight for those I love until the bitter end. But i've also learned that I cannot save anyone else and have learned when to let go. Because that too is love.

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